Dickens is Bathed: No Stay of Execution

Despite last-minute pleas by his attorneys, the Sheltie Dickens was bathed by non-lethal immersion today, State officials said.

In a last-minute plea to the Governor, attorneys for the condemned argued not only that the procedure was cruel and unusual, but that their client was mentally incompetent to understand why he was being subjected to the procedure. They pled for a stay of execution, and a commutation of the sentence to life without ablution.

Having examined the arguments both for Dickens and the State, the Governor rejected the plea for clemency on the grounds that the procedure was neither cruel nor unusual, since non-lethal immersion was both painless and performed daily on hundreds if not thousands of Shelties similary situated. So far as the mental defense was concerned, the Governor pointed out that while the IQ of a Sheltie is relatively low in human terms, in canine terms it would approximate the equivalent of a human Einstein. The State was thereby ordered to proceed with the execution.

The execution chamber (caution: not for the sensitive):


The condemned went gamely to his fate. He entered the execution chamber at approximately 10:30 a.m. When asked if he had any final words to say, his reply was "Arf! Arf!" which, translated, means "I know I am going to be in a better state when this is done, and I forgive the people who are doing it to me. But I still don't like it!" At 10:35 a cocktail comprised of dihydrogen monoxide began flowing through a plastic tubing, and the prisoner was immersed:

The prisoner (caution: not for the sensitive):


At 10:48, the Warden pronounced the prisoner clean, and ordered him to be removed from the execution chamber. "The sentence has been carried out," he grimly said.

The aftermath (for everyone, sensitive and otherwise):

http://youtu.be/oT8wLAVGtfM